I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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