CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
