I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
As shirtless as possible
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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