That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
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