I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
he thought i was a dude.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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