One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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