Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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