My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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