Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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