i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
