So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
