ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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