I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
