so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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