Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
she smelled like a LAN party
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
