its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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