i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
