I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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