You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I wear drunk well.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize