Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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