I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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