So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
