GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Randomize
