I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
as a side note pls kill me
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
