i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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