You can't special order awesome
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Rumble strips road head = magical
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
