if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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