Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
