btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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