i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
