This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize