theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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