wakey wakey hands off snakey
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
