Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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