I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
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