Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
