You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
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