Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I believe in your delicious
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
