Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
