if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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