And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
