my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
