are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
