Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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