im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
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