HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
How does it feel to date your dad?
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
