He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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