I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
it's like iHOP with fire
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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