So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
