i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
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