That's intense
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Randomize
