dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
