With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
