$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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