JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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