Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
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