i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
