I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
