I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
