I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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