i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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